It's a Cell Phone, Not Your Master

It's Cool. It's Fun. Just Don't Let It Overtake Your Life

How’s the work/life balance in your life? Do you find time every day to put aside your work--to relax and restore your inner equilibrium? Or do you feel you’re always “on call” for the next crisis? As an executive coach who works with high-powered businessmen, I see lots of guys for whom the work/life balance is utterly out of whack. There are all sorts of reasons behind the problem, but much of the blame, I’m now convinced, falls on all those Blackberries, iphones, and other smartphones out there.

Recently, a client showed up in my office with his Blackberry in hand. As we sat down to talk, I asked him to switch it off. But he didn’t know how—he had never tried. “Can’t I just put it on vibrate?” he asked? “No,” I said, “because waiting for it to vibrate will distract you. You won’t be able to focus on our discussion.”

I told another guy that it was rude to pull out his iphone during our conversation (he used it to plan a subsequent meeting). He was indignant. "What if I stepped away to use the men’s room?” he asked. “What’s the difference?" To which I replied, “The difference is that what you do in the men’s room is not done in front of me.”

Typically when I ask clients to turn off their electronics, I get an earful about how it’s essential that they stay on top of any and all calls, text messages, and emails that come their way. Except for my client Bill L., who works in disaster management, I’m unsympathetic. I know all too well that the calls, emails and text messages they’re really likely to receive aren’t quite so earth shattering. You know the sort of things I’m talking about: Your friend can’t remember where you’re meeting for lunch…your mother wants to know if you got over your cold…your wife reminds you (again) not to forget the extra duck sauce when you pick up the kung pao chicken.

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