Family

• What Every Dad Must Do During Back-to-School Time

  BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIME is stressful for kids. For dads, too. Here, parenting expert Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer offers her top nine strategies for easing the bambinos back into school without all the muss and fuss.

  
  

• Five Ways To Annoy Your Pediatrician (and Get Better Medical Care)

  FIFTY YEARS AGO it was nearly always mothers who brought children to the doctor. Things are different now. A child's father is as likely to be the one to make the trip (and put up with those long spells in the waiting room). Here are 5 ways you can make the trip to the pediatrician more efficient and useful to you and your child. One or more of these might annoy your pediatrician, but don't be dissuaded. Christopher Johnson MD, author of How To Talk To Your Child's Doctor, assures us that you're not being a pest--you're being a good dad.

  
  

• The Dad Difference: How To Encourage Autonomy

  NOWADAYS DADS ATTEND parent-teacher conferences, help with homework, and drive carpool. And while their growing involvement in parenting is terrific for kids, Dads' share with mothers the panic and stress whenever their kids compete. Despite the stereotype that successful kids have parents who push them, research shows that eliminating parental pressure is the best way to help children excel. Wendy Grolnick and Kathy Seal, co-authors of Pressured Parents, Stressed Out Kids, share their thoughts on staying involved, letting go of control, and encouraging your child's autonomy.

  
  

• Where Dads Go Wrong With Discipline

  NOT SURE OF THE BEST way to go about disciplining your defiant child or teenager? The last thing you want to do is become a dad who "means business," or the father who raises his voice and "makes" his kids listen. Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD., family psychologist and author of Liking the Child You Love, doles out six smart strategies for disciplining your child.

  
  

• How To "Get Along" With Your Teen

  EVER HEARD A DAD say, "My teenager looks funny, likes horrible music and acts goofy half the time. Yet he treats me as though I'm the one who's out of touch with reality! What do I do with this strange creature?" Stay in touch with your kid! Maintaining a good relationship with your mysterious and unpredictable teen should be your top priority. Just how do you do that? Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, author of 1-2-3 Magic and Surviving Your Adolescents shares several simple rules every parent should follow when attempting to have fun with a youngster.

  
  

• Dad, Stop Worrying So Much about Keeping Your Kids Safe

  LET'S TAKE A LOOK at some of the newer safety products being marketing to parents, starting with baby knee pads. What kind of fools do they take us for, that we’d be worried about this time-honored stage of babyhood? Knees were made for crawling. Unfortunately, we have entered an era that says you cannot trust yourself. Trust a product instead. Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry, offers Free Range tips for helicopter parents. Stop hovering.

  
  

• Calling All Dads

  SHOUT IT FROM THE TOPS of the highest mountains. Announce it at all the NBA playoff games. Pipe it into every shopping mall in America. WE NEED YOU DAD!!! Remember, there's no one right way to be a good father. But every dad can find ways to know his child and be a critical influence in his child's life whether he is Mr. Mom, away in the military, or the Saturday morning breakfast dad. Karen Deerwester, author of The Entitlement-Free Child, explains why and how dads bring a fresh set of eyes, hands, and experiences to family life.

  
  

• Daddy Discipline

  OF COURSE THERE are no special rules for "daddy discipline". Discipline strategies work regardless of the gender of the parent. But sometimes there are advantages to having a deep voice or to being the parent who is not home all day. Karen Deerwester, author of The Entitlement-Free Child, shares 8 simple discipline rules that every father should follow.

  
  

• Keeping Your Home Safe While You're on Vacation

  PLANNING A VACATION? Keeping your home safe while you're away may be the last thing on your mind, but that lack of focus can make for a sour experience when you arrive home. Russell D. Longcore, author of Insurance Claims Secrets Revealed, shows you how to take the proper steps to burglar-proof your household.

  
  

• Should You Put Your College Kid to Work

  SOME STUDIES SHOW that students who work a maximum of 15 hours a week in college actually do better in school than peers who don't have a job. But it can backfire --conflicting schedules, poor academic performance, and higher stress levels. Also keep in mind that earning more than $4,000 a year could put a student's school and federal grant money in jeopardy.

  
  

• "Give 'Em An Allowance!"

  WHAT'S THE BIG deal about giving your kids allowances? Having a regular amount of their own income is the only way kids can learn to manage money. They need to be able to make mistakes when the cost is minimal. When should you start? For many kids, this may be as young as three or four. Make a list of what they are expected to pay for with their allowance and determine how much money you already give them to come up with a total.

  
  

• Talking with Your Daughter about Boys and Dating

  HAVE YOU HAD the talk with your teenage daughter about boys, dating, and intimacy? How about dating safety? Many fathers focus their dating talks only on safe sex or abstinence. Big mistake. Odds are your daughter has heard all she needs to know on these topics at school and in the media. Your priority should be talking with your daughter about how to approach dating and intimacy. Michael Domitrz, author of "May I Kiss You?", shares seven more mistakes dads make when talking to their daughters about dating.

  
  

• 10 Tips: How To Be A Great Stepparent

  THE STEPPARENT-STEPCHILD transition is not easy. Don’t expect immediate love. Allow the children to spend time alone with their mom rather than you insisting on being involved. With your wife as the family spokesperson discuss family rules and decide what your role is if a rule is broken. Never criticize the absent parent and make an effort to stay neutral when conflict arises between your spouse her former mate. Plus, let your stepchildren to talk openly about their dad. Be their advocate. Go to sporting events, school plays and any classroom activities they invite you to attend. Again, keep in mind the respect of the biological parent.

  
  

• Telling Kids About Financial Woes

  MONEY IS TIGHT for just about everyone these days, but do you tell your kids about it? Children tend to be good at handling the truth, even when it’s bad news, so tell them. Just spare the nitty-gritty details. If your hours have been cut, tell them your job is paying you less so there’s less money for extras. Try to find replacements for these extras. Instead of going out to dinner, try a family picnic in the home. Kids will pick up on your attitude so make sure it’s positive.

  
  

• Switching Baby Formulas

  IS IT SAFE to switch back and forth between different baby formulas? Go ahead and try it, but you may find your baby has gotten used to one particular brand of formula. Major brands of formula are generally equal, but it’s recommended to stick with the bran your baby gets used to. However, it’s fine to switch between liquid and powder. If your baby starts to show signs of intolerance, such as gas, rashes, diarrhea or other symptoms, consult a doctor. A change may be needed.

  
  

• Why Surfing the Web Can Be Healthy

  WITH ALL THE THREATS on the web, it can be tempting to deny your children Internet privileges. But a new study from the University of California, Berkeley and University of Southern California shows that the Internet can benefit children. Researchers observed kids for more than 5000 hours and found that surfing the web improved communication and mental sharpness. The Internet teaches kids how to search, socialize and navigate new technologies. Still, make sure they’re not over-doing it. Limit web time to no more than two hours a day.

  
  

• How To Treat Allergies

  SPRING IS IN THE AIR and it’s prime time for allergies to flare up. Medication can help, but try managing your child’s allergies by changing air filters an a regular basis. Vacuum the house often as well. Consider investing in a vacuum with a HEPA filter that traps allergens. Keep windows closed to keep pollen and allergens out. Plus, bathe your children at night-- make sure they wash their hair so they don’t go to bed with pollen in it. If your kid’s allergies are severe, limit time spent outdoors.

  
  

• How To Deal with a Defiant Teen

  DEFIANT BEHAVIOR SPURS coercive interchanges: you try to make your teenager do what you want, and your teen resists. Either you “win” or your teen “wins,” but one person coerces the other. Co-author of Your Defiant Teens: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship, Arthur L. Robin, PhD., explains how to reestablish your authority as a parent when your teen's rebellious behavior "crosses the line."

  
  

• How To Fight Nighttime Fears

  IT'S COMMON FOR children to fear monsters at night, but if they keep waking you up and climbing into your bed, it can be a problem. Make sure both you and your wife are committed to making your kid sleep in their own bed. Then, give your child “tools” to help fight the monsters. Hang “no monster allowed” signs or give them a bottle of “monster spray." Make a chart. And give them a sticker for every night they stay in their own bed. If they make it seven nights in row, they get a reward.

  
  

• Accepting Your Child

  ACCEPTING YOUR CHILD for who they are is important. Start by getting to know your kid. Spend time with them without multitasking. Pay attention to their interests-- what do they spend the most time doing or what do they excel in. Compliment them on their individuality. When you find yourself disliking something your child does, ask yourself if it will matter in five years before you come down on them. Remember your kid is a unique individual, not a younger version of yourself. Respect your child and listen.

  
  

• Parenting Shy Children

  IS YOUR KID HAVING TROUBLE making friends? Make sure there is not a medical condition contributing to your child’s shyness. Once you’ve ruled that out, try to figure out why your kid is so shy. Help them develop social and conversational skills by talking about current affairs and issues at dinner. Encourage them to express their opinion and discourage one liners like, “I don’t care.” Teach them that showing interest in others’ opinions-- interest is a good way to be liked and appreciated. Plus, take them to community functions outside the home so they can learn to be comfortable in a group.

  
  

• Managing Your Child’s Anger

  FRUSTRATED WITH YOUR your toddlers habit of hitting, kicking, or biting? Manage your kids aggression by knowing their triggers. Whether it’s hunger, boredom or exhaustion, know what sets your child off and try to prevent it. When they act out, firmly tell them “no”. Let them know that their behavior isn’t acceptable, but it is OK to be angry. Your toddler will pick up behaviors from you, so set a good example when you find yourself getting angry.

  
  

• Underachieving Kids

  IF YOU HAVE a kid who’s signed up for sport or other after school activities but puts in less than 100%, it can be tempting to give them a hard time. Instead of scolding them, try asking them why they’re not giving it their all and what they may try to do better the next time. Highlight the things they are doing well, such as being a good sport or learning a new skill. Try lowering your expectations – your kids won’t have the same focus as professionals. Don’t force your child to keep participating against their wishes. If they insist on quitting, let them.

  
  

• How to Deal With Grumpy Mornings

  DEALING WITH A GRUMPY TWEEN in the AM? Lighten up their morning mood by having your kid cut back on caffeine. Make sure homework is done and electronic devices, including the TV, are turned off at least a half hour before bedtime. Also, try having them read themselves to sleep. It’s not possible to “make up” for lost sleep, so try to be as consistent as possible with bedtimes and waking up times, even on weekends. Don’t overreact to your tween’s bad morning temper. Instead, when they’re in a better mood, talk to them about better ways to vent.

  
  

• Helping Kids Overcome Fear of Failure

  FEAR OF FAILURE is common among children and the result often leads to not trying at all. Help your kid overcome failure by redefining it. Let your child know that if they learned something, they did not fail. Also your kid needs to understand that the only way to fail is to not try. They don’t have to be the best; they just have to try their best. Share your own experiences with your child. Tell them what you learned from your failures or how you overcame challenges. Finally, don't live through your kid. The pressure to be as good as mom and dad may discourage children from attempting something new.

  
  

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